I promised you I'll make things easier for you... ^_^
So I'll do whatever you want me to do =]
I want to make you happy ah marh~
Never celebrated that day anyways...
I've always dreaded that day whenever it comes haha
I'll count down to the day... and when the day does come, I get depressed haha
Never smiled on that day anyways ¬.¬
So it's okay lahh, I'll give it up and stay in instead ^_^
I don't need you to spend it with me either,
I told you I would make things easier for you lah ^_^
So just do what your suppose to do.
I don't need you to give up anything for me anymore...
I don't need you to prove anything to me anymore...
I want you to be happier even if it results in me suffering...

I'll be easier on you from now on... ^_^

So I hope your happy with me from now on... =']

I love you forever and always bebee, together forever until the end.
Never ever part from each other...
Through each passing day, my love for you will grow stronger and stronger...
I will fall deeper and deeper...
<3 xo

To be honest, my hearts aching >< Wanting this year to change, but it's okay. I promised you didn't I? I will show you that I'm not selfish. I will put up with things. Nothing can be perfect, it has never been near for me. My life has always been shit... So as long as you stay with me. I'm fine with everything else...

Every year I spent my birthday alone, the only day where I'm ment to be feeling special, the only day where I'm more special than anyone else, the only day where all attentions should be focused on me.... that day, that only day... I've always been alone, never been shown any love... I've always dreaded my birthday, but this year... I have you ^_^ I have someone to spend my birthday with and it's also my 18th ^_^ I'm turning into an adult! I'm legal ^_^ I can do nearly whatever I want and buy whatever haha, I can go buy drinks, casinos etc. =O How cool. xD

I remember one birthday, when I first moved to Kent, on my 9th birthday... no one even said happy birthday to me... no one gave me presents... no one bought me cake... no one showed any attention to me... I went downstairs and shouted... "Gum yut ngor san yut! Jong meh mo yun lei ngor?!"  and my parents told me that were busy... so they can't spend it with me... I was a child then... I cried haha... How comes all the little kids get parties and stuff? They come into school telling each other what presents they get etc. I always avoid it when they ask me... or I lie saying I got this and that haha... My parents gave me money though... They gave me £10 haha, so I went to Sainsburys by myself and bought this cake that was £9.99 loool all the money gone... I stayed upstairs all night with my brother and didn't share the cake haha... the cake was disgusting... more tears lol... Infact every birthday that I can remember... I cry haha or get teary... lmao... Harry and David always got birthday parties but I'm the only one that never got anything... NO PRESENTS, NO CARDS, NO BLESSINS, NO CARE, NO LOVE. As a little kid, most of you might know how a little kid would feel right? =[

I always dread my birthdays because it always reminds me of things... Another birthday I spent it alone at home playing on the xbox lmao... and then the next day I just went London Trocadero and DDRed... hahaha...

I never got any presents... infact I got a present last year... I got a snoopy from Yinny ^_^ She mailed it to me... it was so cute ^_^ I was so happy... It brought a tear to my eye... I only ever get money from friends or parents haha. My mum didn't even say happy birthday to me I don't think haha... I only ever had 2 birthday cards I think haha... There filled with stickers and drawings ^_^ whether were friends or not. I like looking at the cards... it brings a smile to my face because it shows that someone cares for me and actually made me feel special xD It's just like when I read your blogs... It tells me and shows me that someone still loves me out there... thats why it bothered me so much when you deleted my blogs =/

Even though you told me from the start you were alone... So was I. But for your birthdays, atleast you got people to be there with you. I don't like Leon, I don't like your friend Sunny... but yeah, you get to celebrate it... you get to talk to them... even though I didn't let you go out earlier the day, atleast I was here to talk to you ^_^ but what do I get? You don't like me seeing them people, then fine. I won't even celebrate my birthday, you said I made things difficult for you, then fine, you won't need to spend my birthday with me now ^_^ I'll make things easier for you... but for my birthday, you can't even talk to me cos you have work... Although I expected something alot more different this year... it won't happen =] I know you say I can go and stuff, but deep down you don't want me to go, I promised you that I will try make you happy from now on, so I will make you happy ^_^ I can endure this pain a bit more longer... just a little bit longer...

Ahhh, writing this made me really upset >< Don't know why I wrote it... maybe I wanted some sympathy... ^_^ or maybe I wanted some love and care haha... who knows ><

Whao I actually shared my background with people haha...

So yeah, this year... yet again... no celebrations... no parties... but I hope this year... I get a few more birthday messages and texts ^_^

yingg baby <3

i love you so muchh <3 i miss you so muchh~~ your my everything..i want to be with you. be there for you and you being there for me. please dont feel that your a burden to me. your not. i like to hear your problems. i want to give you advice and comfort you. i want to make you happy. i dont want you to cry all the time. i want you to be the man where there is no tears in your life at all. i dont want you to carry so much pressure and  carry on taking pressure from me if i tell you your problems. i really want to help you. i try my best to dedicate my time to you and talk to you. be here for you. solving problems with you. even just to have a laugh with you. ofcourse, i do miss the times before, where we were so care free, didnt have so much pressure, where school life, family life, social life didnt really bother us, and just being together. how we are now, although we are like..dont wanna pressure eachother..hiding eachothers feelings..but im letting time do the job. i will show more of my love to you. if i have any problems that is bringing me down...i will tell you..because i know you will be here for me <3 hopefully..in the future..we can be care free again and just be with eachother. i love you baby <3 i really enjoy just being there next to you. holding you. hugging you. having you holding me. walking down the road hand in hand. sleeping on you. stroking your face and your hair. telling you i love you. i dont know..i love just being with you. i feel loved with you just holding me. i can just forget everything. you give me so much warmth. you always know when im upset. you always put so much effort into cheering me up. i thank you for that. i wanna be with you ALL the timeee. i dont like it that we are 1hour away from eachother. i know its only 1hour and it doesnt seem as far but it is =[ i cant see you all the time even if i wanted to. i wanna live near you so that i can just pop round your house whenever i want. i can just be there for you instantly if you needed me.

ngor ho gwah juu lei arhhh ='[ i wanna seee you right nowwww >< baby..when can we move in together? hao xiang bao zhe ni.. i love you because you have never given up on me and always trying so hard to be with me. i love you because you can put up with my selfishness and stubborness. i love you because your still with me and by my side. i love you because you always can give me the support i want. so many reaons why i love you ying. i truely love you baby <3 it doesnt matter how many times we argue rightt? well i know those arguements hurts you so much.it hurts me too just to see you upset. i know that we will overcome these arguements and just be happy agains. im really sorry that i make you upset all the time, i'll try and not argue anymore lah. i love you bebe <3 You know I love you, I gave up tears when we argued, thats because I love you. If I really didnt't care about you, I wouldn't have gave up my tears would I? Your the only one I wana be with. Your the one I wana be with until the  end of time. So stay with me together forever... Your all I need, all I wana be with. You've did so much for me and trust me, I can see it. . I wana hold you forever, hold your hands, hold you around me, and feel our warmth. Everytime I see you I get so happy and excited, just the thought of being able to see you makes me so happy.

I wana spend more time with you. I feel loved when you hold my hands, when you kiss me and when you hug me. I feel like were in our own little world, own little area away from everything when we hug, when we share our warmth, we have a little barrier around us where nothing can come in.

i love you so much babyyy <3 your minee and mine onlyyy..noone elses lahh <3

wo ai ni. wo xiang ni. wo xu yao ni <3

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I LOVE YOU <3